Critical Failures (2020)

Critical Failures Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn t question the game master and you shouldn t make fun of his cape One minute they re drinking away the dreariness of their lives escaping
  • Title: Critical Failures
  • Author: Robert Bevan
  • ISBN: -
  • Page: 425
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • Critical Failures
    Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn t question the game master, and you shouldn t make fun of his cape.One minute, they re drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off The next minute, they re in a horse drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them Tim now has the voice and pTim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn t question the game master, and you shouldn t make fun of his cape.One minute, they re drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off The next minute, they re in a horse drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard Julian s ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy And Cooper well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits He also finds that he s carrying a bag with a human head in it a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn t even know existed in their fast food and pizza delivery world.It s fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don t really exist.Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken.
    • [↠ Critical Failures || è PDF Read by ↠ Robert Bevan]
      425 Robert Bevan
    • thumbnail Title: [↠ Critical Failures || è PDF Read by ↠ Robert Bevan]
      Posted by:Robert Bevan
      Published :2019-06-25T15:07:51+00:00

    One Reply to “Critical Failures”

    1. When Tim, Dave, Cooper, and Julian play a game of Caverns and Creatures with a new Cavern Master, they get than they bargained for Trapped in the game world in the bodies of their characters, can they survive long enough to make it back to the real world and settle the pompous Cavern Master s hash Back in the day, around the time the oceans drank Atlantis, I played a fair bit of Dungeons and Dragons Sadly, I recognize a lot of what goes on in this book.Critical Failures tells the story of what [...]

    2. This book is based on a good idea I ve read other books based on this idea I ve liked books based on this idea The plot idea of modern gamers being unexpectedly thrust into a fantasy world is an excellent one.Sadly this particular book is crap.I know there are players like the ones pictured in this bookere have to be Every group no matter what, political, religious, sports, people who live in a given area or region, MMORPG players or table top players has to have it s idiots The ones who give us [...]

    3. In Critical Failures a group of friends meet for a little role playing, inviting a stranger to play with them The stranger turns out to be strange indeed Soon their fantasy game becomes very real This is almost the exact same premise as the 80s tv show Dungeons Dragons, wherein some kids get swooped up into the game and must fend for their lives More originality would ve been nice, but as long as there s excitement and fun in the adventure that s all that matters Oh, I suppose that since this is [...]

    4. I love stories where people are stuck in a game world I LOVE fart jokes What could go wrong here A book about people thrust into a DD esque world, full of crude humor this should be amazing Only it s not Call me a fuddy duddy, call me a feminist killjoy or a social justice warrior if you want, but this book is about a bunch of assholes These guys are calling each other vaginas and using gay and faggy as pejoratives Faggy Really Ugh Just so much ugh here.That being said, if it sounds like somethi [...]

    5. Critical Failures Caverns and Creatures Book 1 by Robert Bevan is so hilarious, and I am not a gamer I bought the book and then decided to add the 2 for the audio narration so my son would listen to it, he doesn t like to read but I thought he would love this story because he is a big gamer I started listening to it while I did things around the house but got so into the story, I just sat down and listened and giggled Nothing got done, I just took my tablet to bed with me and I laid there listen [...]

    6. Critical Failures is an interesting blend of a novel The story starts with a group of lads Tim, Cooper, Julian and Dave awaiting the arrival of a new Games Master for their weekly game of Caverns and Creatures, a Dungeons and Dragons style role playing game As you might expect the author takes every opportunity to poke fun at the stereotype gamer, nerds with absolutely no prospect of ever finding a girlfriend When the Games Master finally arrives, wearing a cape, they all take the opportunity to [...]

    7. This may be one of the most terrible books I have ever read It seems like it was written by a misogynistic, homophobic 13 year old boy, who thinks that swear words are effective vocabulary, and friendships consist of being unkind to one another and telling your momma jokes The theme of the story, being a dungeons and dragons type story, may have been something I would have really enjoyed, if the writing hadn t been The Worst Thing Ever I should never have bothered finishing this book It just got [...]

    8. Not a book for me Again, the plot sounded interesting, a group of friends playing Caverns Creatures roll some magic dice and get trapped in the fantasy world, with the same rules applying leveling up, all the constraints on when they can use their spells etc except if they die, they stay dead The problem for me is that all these people are the folks you would immediately put on ignore if you met them in a game online They would be the ninja pullers, the rager in a BG, the asshole spewing racist [...]

    9. In Critical Failures, Mr Bevan introduces us to a humorous tale of a group of slackers who, for not taking Caverns and Creatures seriously enough, are sentenced by the Cavern Master to experience it for real Unfortunately for the players, they have to live with the consequences of their actions from when it was just a game Why to buy this book It s well written and fast paced It s easy to become immersed in the world Besides that, it s laugh out loud funny Literally My wife had to tell me to qui [...]

    10. Sword and sorcery comedy novel, packed with slapstick, profane, and teenaged male humor, and if you re in the right frame of mind, it s utterly hilarious If you re not, don t pick it up Not even if it s free The writing is deadpan, the editing and formatting decent, and the story and characters kept me up way too late reading And giggling my poor guy did get some sleep I think.The book does stand alone, but the ending is abrupt It s clearly a set up for the series, and honestly, the problem is s [...]

    11. Should a Game Master use his magic dice to banish his four players into the world of their game, simply for not giving the game their undivided attention How very rude Really, people that own magical artifacts should be required to complete anger management counseling Granted that all four guys seemed to want beer than game play, and they were a little insulting to the guy that they invited to their game But you d think that someone that wears a purple cape and calls himself Mordred yes, really [...]

    12. Critical Failures is full of crude and rude and downright disgusting It s also positively hilarious at times, and the puns come out of nowhere and leave you snickering It s also got a smattering of entirely horrible innuendos in it, and while none of the characters are particularly charismatic even if they did have a high die roll on that , they re just real enough to find yourself rooting for them even as you want to slap them upside the head.Whilst I ve never actually played any of the tableto [...]

    13. This book is a guilty pleasure kind of read It was a hilarious romp through a Dungeons Dragons type world with a group of foul mouthed but funny losers It will never go down in the annals of great literature, but as someone who has played DD before it was a laugh a minute Fellow nerds, please read this one You ll laugh at least once, out loud, while reading this I promise.

    14. 13th book read in 2015.Number 107 out of 441 on my all time book list.Follow the link below to see my video review youtube watch v ea3lh

    15. This is the kind of book you read after you finish a great book while you think about what to read next It s not for everyone It s for people who meet all of the following criteria a males b those who have played dungeons and dragons and c those with a childish sense of humor i.e all males under 68 years of age Before you write to N.O.W and have my Feminist of the Year award revoked, let me explain this humor is not the stuff of chick lit It s not deep It s not subtle It s not smart It s not ino [...]

    16. I had to give up on listening to this book about half way through Just not to my taste I guess I was hoping for something funny or witty, pointing fun at nerd culture while also embracing it with obscure references Instead, I got an endless stream of obscenities from a group of shallow, unlikable characters with zero depth or backstory I am half way through this book and I can t tell you anything about any of the characters For example, is there a main character that the story centers around Not [...]

    17. Crass humourCorny jokesSuper geek festMORE PLEASE I was on the unlucky end of dungeons and dragons, I started secondary school a year after they closed the group, but I have always had a fascination and played computer games when I can get m hands on them This took me into the world and let me explore Funny and light hearted, yet it made me feel for the characters even the rather shall I say animalistic Cooper I would recommend this to anyone with a good sense of humour and either experience of [...]

    18. It was a pretty fun book The depiction of the C C world was good and the way they had to adapt to really being in a fantasy world with fantasy rules was really interesting Good book and now I m in the middle of the second one.

    19. Good concept Sure And technically realistic Because everyone is an asshole But the dialogue and language and manor of all the players just made this an uncomfortable and awkward read There were some clever moments and some confusing moments But I don t think I will go to volume 2.

    20. This book is greatFor what it is It s not groundbreaking It s not going to win any Pulitzers But if you want a fun, quick, vulgar, extremely nerdy title, this is the book for you Also, it broke me out of a reading slump, so there s that going for it.

    21. If the other books I ve reviewed are polite visitors, then Robert Bevan s Critical Failures is the guy in the GWAR T shirt that cussed out a neighbor, drank all the vodka, and passed out in the bathroom.This book spends a lot of time in said bathroom Bevan answers the truly burning questions in the fantasy genre, such as How badly does an orc s feculence stink and What god does a dwarven cleric pray to when he forgot to designate one As you might guess, this one s not for kids by any stretch of [...]

    22. This is a really fun book The basic premise a group of friends are keen players of Caverns and Creatures , a game not totally unlike Dungeons and Dragons cough , but when they insult their new Cavern Master, he retaliates by sending them into the game for real And so a half orc barbarian, a dwarven cleric, a halfling rogue and an elvish sorcerer find themselves getting used to new bodies, learning to use their abilities, facing up to trolls, goblins, giant ants and a humourless town guard, and f [...]

    23. A highly amusing tale, Critical Failures brings us into a world where role playing suddenly becomes real with the help of a pair of magic dice Tim, a young man with serious geek personality brings together his group of friends to play a version of fantasy role playing cards under the mysterious tutelage of Mordred, a creepy fat guy in a purple cape The gang thinks they are just there for the usual night of beer drinking and role playing But one member, Conner, with a serious tude, pushes to many [...]

    24. Critical Failures is the story of a geek called Tim who arranges weekly a role playing game similar to Dungeons Dragons Tim three friends make the mistake of inviting stranger Mordred to play with them and they end up at his mercy when he puts them inside the game after they insult him.It isn t hard to grasp any of the role playing game rules if you re unfamiliar with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense How exactly Mordred puts them inside the game doesn t [...]

    25. Critical Failures by Robert Bevan is a humorous novel about four friends who are getting together to play a game of Caverns and Creatures or CC a.k.a Dungeons and Dragons with a new Cavern Master who they found online and never met before.In no time the group gets on the bad side of the Cavern Master and as punishment he traps them inside the world of CC as their characters Soon they discover that their actions and choices have consequences and adventure ensues While the concept behind this stor [...]

    26. typical dd type of thing Game starts, players get transported into the alternate world and stuck there There is a fairly large amount of bad language While I m not perfect, my vocabulary is such that I don t need to say F k ever time I speak Sadly, the vocabulary of some of the characters, one in particular Cooper , is not so vast and therefore that is the main word in his vocabulary.

    27. Short, breezy, and a whole lot of fun This ain t an art book, and you won t learn a lesson about what it is to be truly alone or how humanity connects to the greater universe on a spiritual level, but you will read about slapstick decapitations and confused horse summoning wizards.

    28. For anyone who knows and loves DnD or any other table top roleplaying system, this will probably be a three or a four For others, I couldn t say If you belong to the first group, you should check it out it will at the very least entertain you for a little while

    29. This was a hilarious book about a group of guys who basically get sucked into a real life version of DD Maybe I only found it funny because I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, but I really enjoyed it.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *